We all do some pretty bad things from time to time. It is in our imperfect nature that we mess up. And sometimes, we do something that we deem so terrible that we just can’t forgive ourselves. Yes, I bet even some saints in Heaven have been there, too. It’s all too human.
As Catholics, we have a great gift in the Holy Sacrament of Confession. Sometimes, this guilt of having messed up, is eased by telling someone about the horrible thing we did, but it always feels better after it has been absolved by a priest (who sits in persona Christi). Sometimes, however, even after the repentance, absolution and penitence, we still can’t seem to shake off the guilt. I think this is because we haven’t forgiven ourselves.
It is all too easy to get caught up in the guilt – a tool that the devil sometimes uses to keep us away from Confession and from feeling better. But we have to remember that no matter how awful our mishap/mistake/sin was, we have to forgive ourselves. Obviously, we have the guilt because we feel bad about it, and that’s a good sign that we repent. However, when this guilt doesn’t go away, we need to work on forgiving ourselves. This can be hard, but the beauty of Confession is that you can bring up this pain, this guilt, as many times as needed until you process what happened.
Wallowing in the guilt is not going to make things better. Keeping the sin to ourselves is not going to forgive it. So, I highly encourage you to go to Confession to be forgiven and to forgive yourself.